so there's this tumblr thing...

I've decided to move this blog to tumblr because their layouts are purdy. I'm hoping that this move will coincide with me updating glitter pickle more often. Look forward to more restaurant reviews, product comparisons, lazy ass recipes, and a future post tentatively titled "sausage fest."

http://glitterpickle.tumblr.com/

thanks for reading!
xx

The (Other) Omnivore's Dilemma

I think that the whole "oh, I could never be vegetarian cuz then my diet would be all boring" argument is pretty fatuous. In theory, an omnivorous diet would open a person up to a lot more variety than a vegetarian diet simply because the latter forgoes a potent food genre, but in practice I've found that the exact opposite is often the case. It all comes down to a certain mentality, you see: the kind of people who are willing to take on a vegetarian diet tend to be more adventurous than those who whine and bitch about it being SOOOO HAAARDDD.

Take a look at the average omnivore's diet and you'll probably find a whole lot of bland monotony. Meat and potatoes are the order of the day, with some iceberg lettuce and tomatoes occasionally thrown in for a little color. Even the meat choices are largely limited to chicken and beef (despite the pork industry's more or less recent PR campaigns, the whole "the other white meat" mentality has yet to catch on). This paradox occurred to me even when I was an unrepentant omnivore, although I can't say it really applied to my personal circumstances since I actively and enthusiastically sought out all kinds of animal flesh to eat (armadillos, wild boar, little bunny rabbits, etc).

The wonderful thing about vegetarianism is that it's introduced me to a whole world of new food and flavors. Two years ago, I had no idea that kale and almond milk existed and now they're both staples in my diet. One door closes but another fifty windows open. So omnivores: get over yourselves. Most of you wouldn't know variety if it sat on your face.

moar pasta!

This particular dish got rave reviews from my omnivorous brother. It turns out that a heaping spoonful of minced garlic + five heaping spoonfuls of earth balance = a nice cheesy flavor. It's pure vegan wizardry!

The following recipe serves two:

- pasta (I used tricolor curly things)
- 4 zucchini
- earth balance
- minced garlic
- emeril's essence (I love this shit!)
- dried red pepper flakes
- dried thyme, basil, and oregano to taste
- salt and pepper to taste

1. Chop the zucchini into thin slices. Cook the slices over medium heat in a large frying pan. Boil the pasta (no salt) while the zucchini is cooking. Both should take around 10 minutes.
2. Drain the pasta and mix it in with the zucchini in the frying pan. Add a heaping spoonful of minced garlic and at least four spoonfuls of earth balance (you know you love it). Cook it all together, stirring constantly, until all the earth balance is melted.
3. Add the essence, pepper flakes, herbs, and salt & pepper to taste.

Yay!

I made up this recipe to get rid of the leftover zucchini, so the measurements are a little, um, improvisational. More than a spoonful of garlic would probably taste like death, but you can never go wrong with MOAR EARTH BALANCE!! Half the fun of cooking is experimenting anyways. :P

notes from an omnivore

After about six months of being meatless (give or take a handful of slips), I've finally reached the point where cooked meat smells a lot like poop. I used to get confused whenever my vegan friends made that comparison, but I totally get it now. What used to smell like a delicious meal now smells suspiciously like excrement; my exact thoughts at the moment of discovery were: "HOLY COW, MY FRIENDS WERE RIGHT!! COOKED MEAT DOES SMELL LIKE POOP!" at which point I excused myself from the kitchen because it was making me kind of sick.

This should make sticking to a meatless diet even easier than before. I mean, it's kinda hard to miss something that triggers your gag reflex (porn star jokes notwithstanding).

I'll have some more recipe up next week. :)

pasta salad

Made this from some leftover veggies in the fridge. The parmesan cheese makes it not so vegan (sad face) but apparently it's pretty easy to make your own homemade vegan parmesan "cheese" (happy face). I've yet to try it though (sad face).

ingredients for two:
shell pasta (the mini kind)
half an onion
handful of garlic cloves
2 tomatoes
oregano, basil, thyme
salt and pepper
two fat handfuls of baby arugula
italian dressing

1. Cook the pasta.
2. Chop up the onion, the garlic, and the tomatoes.
3. Saute the onions and garlic until nicely browned. Add the tomatoes. Season with oregano, basil, thyme, and the salt and pepper to taste.
4. Plop the pasta onto the pan and mix it all together.
5. Add the arugula and let it wilt ever so slightly.
6. Serve with dressing on the side.

Nothing too fancy. :)

Portobello Mushroom Burgers

Not cooking meat + cooking for your omnivorous family = family's slow descent into vegetarianism. Muahahaha... >:D

This particular recipe went down really well with ma familia:


4 portobello mushroom caps
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp minced garlic
1 tsp dried basil
1 tsp dried oregano
salt and pepper

Emeril's Essence (no, he's not paying me!)
Vegenaise

1. Mix the vinegar, olive oil, garlic, basil, and oregano together. Add a bit of salt and pepper to the mix.

2. Place the mushroom caps shiny side up in a saucepan. Pour the sauce over the caps. Let them sit at room temperature for 15 minutes. Turn them over a couple of times.

3. When cooking your mushies a grill is ideal. If you don't have a grill, a frying pan is sufficient. Brush the grill/pan with oil and heat on medium. Place mushrooms on grill/pan and cook for 5-8 minutes on both sides. Spoon the leftover marinade on top of the mushroom frequently.

4. The Emeril's Essence and the Vegenaise will take this burger from awesome to EPIC. When you're making your burger just remember to sprinkle a little essence on top of the mushroom (BAM!) and slather some vegenaise on one of the buns (or one of the bread slices if you're ghetto like me).

As far as toppings go, here are a few suggestions:
alfalfa sprouts
tomatoes
grilled red onion
avocado
provolone cheese (If you're not vegan.)

As far as instruments of conversion go, this burger is like the Virgin of Guadalupe. Omnivores and indigenous pagans are moved to believe.

Tofutti Better than Cream Cheese

Bought a tub of Tofutti "Better than Cream Cheese" at the local Whole Foods. It does a decent job of approximating the taste of cream cheese, but it still lacks the characteristic tartness of the real thing. There's also a bit of a tofu aftertaste.

It's not too bad, but I wouldn't say it's better than the real thing. Next time I'll give the Follow Your Heart imitation cream cheese a try.


Mmm...vegan cream cheese and sprouts. P: