The (Other) Omnivore's Dilemma

I think that the whole "oh, I could never be vegetarian cuz then my diet would be all boring" argument is pretty fatuous. In theory, an omnivorous diet would open a person up to a lot more variety than a vegetarian diet simply because the latter forgoes a potent food genre, but in practice I've found that the exact opposite is often the case. It all comes down to a certain mentality, you see: the kind of people who are willing to take on a vegetarian diet tend to be more adventurous than those who whine and bitch about it being SOOOO HAAARDDD.

Take a look at the average omnivore's diet and you'll probably find a whole lot of bland monotony. Meat and potatoes are the order of the day, with some iceberg lettuce and tomatoes occasionally thrown in for a little color. Even the meat choices are largely limited to chicken and beef (despite the pork industry's more or less recent PR campaigns, the whole "the other white meat" mentality has yet to catch on). This paradox occurred to me even when I was an unrepentant omnivore, although I can't say it really applied to my personal circumstances since I actively and enthusiastically sought out all kinds of animal flesh to eat (armadillos, wild boar, little bunny rabbits, etc).

The wonderful thing about vegetarianism is that it's introduced me to a whole world of new food and flavors. Two years ago, I had no idea that kale and almond milk existed and now they're both staples in my diet. One door closes but another fifty windows open. So omnivores: get over yourselves. Most of you wouldn't know variety if it sat on your face.

moar pasta!

This particular dish got rave reviews from my omnivorous brother. It turns out that a heaping spoonful of minced garlic + five heaping spoonfuls of earth balance = a nice cheesy flavor. It's pure vegan wizardry!

The following recipe serves two:

- pasta (I used tricolor curly things)
- 4 zucchini
- earth balance
- minced garlic
- emeril's essence (I love this shit!)
- dried red pepper flakes
- dried thyme, basil, and oregano to taste
- salt and pepper to taste

1. Chop the zucchini into thin slices. Cook the slices over medium heat in a large frying pan. Boil the pasta (no salt) while the zucchini is cooking. Both should take around 10 minutes.
2. Drain the pasta and mix it in with the zucchini in the frying pan. Add a heaping spoonful of minced garlic and at least four spoonfuls of earth balance (you know you love it). Cook it all together, stirring constantly, until all the earth balance is melted.
3. Add the essence, pepper flakes, herbs, and salt & pepper to taste.

Yay!

I made up this recipe to get rid of the leftover zucchini, so the measurements are a little, um, improvisational. More than a spoonful of garlic would probably taste like death, but you can never go wrong with MOAR EARTH BALANCE!! Half the fun of cooking is experimenting anyways. :P

notes from an omnivore

After about six months of being meatless (give or take a handful of slips), I've finally reached the point where cooked meat smells a lot like poop. I used to get confused whenever my vegan friends made that comparison, but I totally get it now. What used to smell like a delicious meal now smells suspiciously like excrement; my exact thoughts at the moment of discovery were: "HOLY COW, MY FRIENDS WERE RIGHT!! COOKED MEAT DOES SMELL LIKE POOP!" at which point I excused myself from the kitchen because it was making me kind of sick.

This should make sticking to a meatless diet even easier than before. I mean, it's kinda hard to miss something that triggers your gag reflex (porn star jokes notwithstanding).

I'll have some more recipe up next week. :)